[In Memory of Charlie Kirk, Killed on September 10, 2025]
God makes abundant sense when our lives are full of blessings, when our silent or spoken prayers are answered with a resounding ‘Yes!’ Then I really love God and we all feel God really loves us too, right?
It’s a whole different experience when God’s answer is ‘No!’ and instead our Beloved dies, leaving us devastated and decidedly confused. We think to ourselves of how we’re always striving to be a Faithful Servant, an Obedient Follower and yet….. ‘why did You allow this to happen God? You are All-Powerful! You could have protected or stopped this tragedy; healed with a simple word. I don’t understand, God! What have I done wrong?’
In that moment – and probably for the months ahead – our pervasive feeling is that God truly doesn’t make any sense. And with God’s seeming continued silence to make sense of this, our despondence grows as our doubts about His Promises loom in our minds. We have moved past confusion. We are now disappointed, hurt and feeling our anger growing – an emotion we don’t want to feel and try desperately to shake it off, usually unsuccessfully.
You may be wandering down this ‘Doubter’s Road.’ Certainly a healthy portion of my Christian clients have walked this road, sharing with me their deep pain and anger! To gain better clarity on this spiritual dilemma, I began to read and then read more, in hopes of supporting clients more effectively ….. this is a hard pill for any one of us to shallow!
One author’s book, in particular, has helped me the most in grappling with this dilemma, namely James Dobson’s When God Doesn’t Make Sense! I share a key point (see pages 60-63) made that has stayed with me and been helpful to clients.
Dr. Dobson tells a true story that begins with James’ three year old son, Ryan, who had a terrible ear infection that had kept him – and the whole family – awake for most of the night. At the pediatrician’s the next day, the doctor confirmed a serious eardrum infection, caused by an errant scab, that required the painful use of a pick-like instrument inserted into the eardrum to resolve the matter.
As mom and dad ready themselves to assist the doctor by holding Ryan still, their toddler “had other plans!” After several unsuccessful attempts by mom to firmly hold a squirming, screaming toddler, Dad take over. Wrapping his 200 pound, 6’2” frame firmly around Ryan, James secures Ryan while listening in agony to his son’s terrified and pain-filled screams.
With tears rolling down Ryan’s tiny face, his eyes begging his daddy to free him from his suffering, James describes this moment as being “in greater agony … than my terrified little boy.” What was most hurtful, James reflects as he watches Ryan’s face, was: “Though he was screaming and couldn’t speak, Ryan was ‘talking’ with those big blue eyes …. as if saying, ‘Daddy, why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me … how could you? Please, please STOP hurting me!” James concludes that “It was one of the toughest moments in my career as a parent!”
Afterwards, James remindes himself how impossible it is to explain to his distraught toddler that his suffering was necessary, for his own good; motivated by a father’s love that required he held his son down on the table to endure this ordeal. Yet in Ryan’s young, immature mind, his dad was a terrible person, a traitor who had callously abandoned him.
Dr. Dobson shares this human experience to help us remember that in our spiritual struggles, God also feels our suffering, just as James had felt his son’s pain. Dobson turns to scripture to support his belief: Psalm 103:13 states, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear (revere) Him.” And in Isaiah 66:13, God is likened to a loving mother: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.”
And in the New Testament, Dr. Dobson shares Jesus’ humanness. In John, chapter 11, Jesus was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled” when Mary wept over her brother, Lazarus’ death. In John 14:9, Christ’s words to Philip that ‘Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father” led Dr. Dobson to conclude that the Father … is “passionately concerned about His human ‘family’ and shares our grief in those unspeakable moments.”
Lastly, young Ryan’s immaturity caused James to struggle with adequately explaining to his toddler why his suffering was necessary. Gratefully, the adult Ryan will finally ‘get’ his dad’s own actions now that he too is a father! And so too does our Heavenly Father look forward to the time when, freed from our human limitations, we too will finally understand the purpose of our earthly suffering.
So when we are in our hour of greatest need, we must resist the urge to feel and believe that God has abandoned us. Remember, His Son promises us that ‘He will never leave us nor forsake us!’ Our challenge is to keep trusting in The Scriptures and keep talking to Him about everything we feel and think because …. His compassion is endless! Amen